by Olipophatbaby | Jan 11, 2018 | Lifestyle, Motherhood
Let me introduce our guest blogger Zoe;
Hi, I’m Zoe, 28, a mum of three, girlfriend and
someone who wishes sometimes she had the career she trained for!
The title is our life in a nutshell, although I’m sure that’s pretty much any parent’s life in a nutshell!
Unfortunately, life just doesn’t always give you the easiest route, and I know
I’m definitely not the only one. There are others out there who definitely
aren’t as lucky as some of us.
These are my three kids – Jay(6), Lucie (4) and Archie (3).
Now you know why we’re upside down here!
Jay and Lucie both have Down’s Syndrome, and while it is a major part of their lives, it’s not what defines
them. As a mother, to be told your child has any condition is heartbreaking. And at the time, you
struggle to think of any positives.
Don’t get me wrong, their condition impedes daily life, but,
sometimes we are guilty of forgetting that they have any condition at all! They are treated with the
same rules as their brother, and they complete just as many tasks at home. Jay really loves
housework, he’s the quickest to pick up a duster! Life here doesn’t revolve around Jay and Lucie
having Down’s Syndrome, our life just revolves around our kids in general.
I’m not afraid to say, there are times when I struggle. There are times where I need five minutes
hiding in the kitchen eating a Dairy Milk. But there are also all those milestones that you wonder will
your child ever reach.
We watch Archie achieve these things with ease, and then we can really see
how hard the other two have worked to get to that point. Sometimes, I just want to be a parent who
doesn’t have people looking at her in the street, pitying me. Or telling me that I’m lucky because Jay
and Lucie are so loving. Believe me, Archie doesn’t love me any less or any more!
I struggle with the fact that there is still such a stigma with having a child with disabilities and I understand that this will probably never go away, but it concerns me nonetheless.
I’m proud of my kids, and I’m not ashamed to say that sometimes they drive me mad, but at the end
of the day for me, they’re just kids. My kids.
Jay and Lucie are just Jay and Lucie, they’re Archie’s
brother and sister, they’re exactly what we as parents allow them to be! They have an extra
chromosome, but not extra special treatment! My world may have been turned upside down at a
time, both my partner and I!
But we have three happy kids, and that means more to us than any diagnosis. All we can hope for, is that over time, society will learn to #losethelabel and treat everyone equally.
Lots of love,
Zoe x
by Olipophatbaby | Jan 6, 2018 | Motherhood
The Beautiful Truth About Children
Most couples want to have children together to enjoy starting a family and partake in parenthood.
It can often be difficult to know what to expect when having kids for the first time. When you’re
pregnant or are expecting a child, there is a beautiful truth about kids that you’ll soon discover.
Kids are Often Picky Eaters
Many kids go through stages where they’re picky eaters and don’t want to touch what’s on their
plate. Once they’re 18 months old, they may play with their food and throw it on the floor instead
of eating it. It’s normal for each child to be different with
how much they eat each day. You’ll know that they’re healthy if they continue to grow and gain weight as they develop. Once the kids are old enough to communicate, you’ll need to decide if you want to give them options on what they eat or establish a rule that they need to eat what they’re served.
They’ll Make You More Selfless
Having children will transform your world as you learn to care for another person’s needs 24
hours each day. From changing diapers to teaching them how to ride a bike, you’ll learn to shift
your focus from yourself to your kids. It’ll be easier to put their needs before your own, which
can allow you become selfless over time. You’ll begin to have their best interest in mind when
changing careers or moving homes to ensure that they have the quality of life that they deserve.
They’re Honest
Many parents quickly discover how honest children are once the kids begin to talk and form
words. They’ll point, stare, and speak their mind while out in public, which can lead to
embarrassing moments and stories. Kids aren’t afraid to tell their parents what they think,
whether they don’t like an outfit you’re wearing or believe you are the best father in the world.
All Kids Throw Tantrums
Although it can be easy to judge other parents whose kids have a meltdown in the supermarket,
no parents are exempt from unexpected outbursts in public when children don’t get their way.
Whether it’s because its naptime or the child is going through the terrible twos, all kids throw
tantrums as they grow in their independence. You’ll need to find disciplinary actions to take to
teach them that the behaviour is unacceptable to ensure that they learn how to control their
emotions.
They Make You Fall in Love
As difficult and challenging as parenthood is, you’ll still find yourself thinking about your kids
while you’re at the office or after you tuck them in bed at night. Although it’s challenging raising
children, most parents find themselves falling in love with their kids and discovering that life
becomes richer. It’ll be easy to talk about your children or post their pictures on social media
each day because you feel fulfilled and happy with their new presence in your life.
And you can follow her on twitter
@Innerparents
by Olipophatbaby | Jan 5, 2018 | Motherhood
So I have been asked to do a column for www.thebitenews.com and thought that I would also share it on my blog for a little bit of extra content!
Celebrity Big Brother My thoughts so far!
Absolutely loving the ‘all women’ line up, I mean come on when you decide to put Ann Widdecombe in a confined space and full of equally strong-minded women things can only get interesting. A perfect example of last nights episode…. when she referred to one of my faves India Willoughby as a ‘he’! I think someone needs a trip to spec savers! However, I do think that Ann will add somewhat of a certain spark to the house!
For me though (in no particular order) my faves have to be
Malika
I think i am possibly the only person in the world who doesn’t watch the Kardashians, so i had no clue who Malika was, however, WOW! she is spunky, honest, very funny and easy on the eye! I loved her point of view with the Harvey Weinstein debate between Ann and Jess, and how open and honest she was about how certain situations can be unveiled!
Jess
Purely for the fact she doesn’t wear a bra! Ah, I think Jess is such a sweet and sassy woman. She seems to be making friends and taking the time to get to know everybody in the house, which I think is so important and she also says what she thinks! Judging from the male line up that is going into the house, It will be interesting to see which males she will have to fight off! safe to say she will have the pick of the bunch!
India
LOVE LOVE LOVE India!!! I love how open she is about her past and how openly she talks about how she felt and how she feels. I also found it really interesting when she told the story about her first experience with sex discrimination and being asked to make the brews over the other two men that were in the office at the same time. It made me stop and think how many times this must have happened and how unaware a lot of women and men are about equality.
OOOOh, and then this takes me on to my final chapter for this week! The MEN!!!
The line up for the men looks rather interesting, I am not too sure who John Barnes is…
I have also read that he is married, which is strange as CBB like to book single people! Now if he was single I would understand a little more why he is going into the house, but then again he might be the philosophy of the carrot dangling for the older phillys “you can look but you can’t touch”!
Then we move onto a couple of the younger fella’s going into the house, from Dapper Laughs (let’s face it, with that name who wouldn’t be laughing). I can’t believe he managed to style his facewith his jacket. Genius, i can see why he is a comedian.
Ginuwine (is that a bizarre spelling for genuine? or he is trying to tell us ‘U need Gin and Wine) and can i just say, this guy is 47…..YES 47 and if you don’t know who he is, google him. He looks 27!!!! i need to know his skincare regime!
Then last but not least Andrew Brady from The Apprentice, I really hope he goes in there and shines. When I went to CBB I was completely new to reality TV, so I was just myself, I didn’t realise that reality TV is all about schmoozing, arguing, drama… I thought little old me was just fine and dandy. So my advice for Andy is, if he likes one of the ladies then BLOODY GO FOR IT!
looking forward to tonight’s episode and il be back next week!
Love
Jess
by Olipophatbaby | Jan 4, 2018 | Lifestyle, Motherhood
Right, I feel the need to talk about Escape rooms! Last year (A month ago haha) went to two escape rooms. With the kids and a competitive partner, that seemed to forget that we were doing it with the kids. Now a word of advice, if you are competitive, dating a competitive partner and throw a couple of kids in the mix is guaranteed get absolute comedy and a simple (not so simple) escape room that should take under an hour to complete will, in fact, take 2 hours and 17 minutes. TRUE STORY!
For those of you who don’t know what an escape room is, it is a themed room that you are locked in and the only way out of it is to escape using clues and props! They are soooooo good!
I remember when Alex and I first met, we did an escape room (Obviously I suggested a scary one, so I could forget all the feminism i believe in momentarily to pretend i was scared to jump into his arms) but way back then Alex hadn’t seen the “DRAGON” in me and I was still playing that ‘easy going, chilled, girl kinda vibe’ to try and make him my boyfriend. #WORKED!
Now I am easily impressed, and the escape room I went to many months ago (the dream girl days) with Alex I was impressed with…Oh how naive I was!
Escape Reality was another level. I mean, the rooms were pro, the staff were pro, the stories were pro…We, however, were not so pro. When Poppy 6, Seb 11, Olive 5, myself and Alex arrived at Escape Reality we decided to participate in the Bank Job room, a family fun room…I honestly felt like I had been transported to a bank volt.
However Alex being a 35-year man, seemed to think that the main objective was for himself to get us out of the room and not for the kids to join in and help us to ‘crack the code’ and the first 10 minutes of the experience included myself shouting at Alex, Seb cracking the wrong code and Pops and Olive on repeat saying “what can I do, what can I do” – It was at this point the ‘DRAGON’ came out, I flipped and told Alex the whole point is for us to guide the kids through it and help them to build their confidence…Oh, how I swallowed my words 2 hours and 17 minutes later.
The remainder 2 hours and 7 minutes were however enjoyable, crazy and fun! The best part about being in the escape room, is all of us overthought and over complicated the clues and props! I created scenarios that were, well, a bit off the wall. And if I was doing that as an adult, you can only but imagine the scenarios of a 5, 6 and 11-year-old.
After overcoming some of the mastermind ‘blockbuster’ idea’s, we then started to discover hidden text, which laid us to props in drawers as we laughed and limbo’d under small doors and we all managed to escape. The feeling afterwards knowing that as a little family we managed to work together was great and we left feeling energised and giddy.
So…what is the verdict?
Escape rooms are amazing for families to do together, firstly you get that feeling of ‘good parent duties’ and secondly you kids think you are some kind of mastermind hero. Both winning situations in my eyes. However, although Poppy and Olive enjoyed the escape room, I would they are a little too young to understand that game. They loved being involved, the props and the fantasy of the room. Seb, however, is a perfect age and he got what he had to do, he managed to lead us onto a few other clues and at the end, I could tell that he felt proud that he had cracked it!
And on that note, we are going next week for Sebs birthday! It really is bloody brilliant and I would recommend it to any family!
Escape reality has sites in Leeds, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Chicago, Cardiff, Las Vegas (Id like an invite to this one), Dubai (or this one) and Leicester!
If you are going to do an escape room, choose one with high production values because 9 out of 10 times they are all pretty much the same price to do – so choose the bloody best one!
Love Jess
x
by Olipophatbaby | Jan 1, 2018 | Lifestyle, Motherhood
Happy Frikin New Year!
I don’t know about you, but 2017 had some major highs and some major lows!
The highs for me starting from entering the UK’s most famous house and entering it with the title “celebrity”, to the film I was in got released and sold in nearly every HMV, Asda and on Amazon, I rekindled with an old flame and found my soul mate to whom I fell madly, truly and deeply in love with, I started a new career direction which is flourishing and enjoyable.
Which leads me to the best part of 2017….. finding out I will be having a little rainbow baby this year!
As for the lows, I am not going to mention those, I have already lived them and there is only room for positive vibes in 2018 and we all know a positive vibe attracts your tribe! And my tribe intends to be healthy, happy and filthy rich! So if you’re reading this, put those vibes out for me too, yea?
Wooohoooo welcome to 2018!
So, I want to start my first blog of 2018 off with talking about my little rainbow baby! If you have been following the blog, you will have read that the past few months have been a shower of shit and to top the shower of shitty McShittness off, Alex and I went through a deeply upsetting miscarriage.
However, I wiped myself off, readjusted my crown (as all queens do) and got on with life. (This included copious amounts of prosecco, chocolate and late night giggles)!
So when I found out I was pregnant again I:
A) Thought back to the ALL the empty bottles of prosecco (#JustJokes)
B) Could literally not believe my eyes when the ‘Pregnant 3+’ showed up on the test!
C) Felt instantly sick and panicky about having another miscarriage.
You see, that’s the thing with getting pregnant after a miscarriage. You are stopped from allowing yourself to fully enjoy those moments of excitement. In fact, its a bloody emotional rollercoaster of constant worry of losing the baby and excitement of having a baby!
So imagine when the flipping rollercoaster started to take a trip down memory lane. I started to experience the first signs of a miscarriage again. Bleeding. I couldn’t believe it, what the hell was going?? Surely this couldn’t be happening again, upset and confused, I had to wait it out again and hope that it wasn’t what I thought.
This continued for around 3-4 weeks on and off. (Which was an absolute mind FCUK!) One day I would be happy and fun, then the next I would be sad, angry and confused about what was going on with my body!
Then one day it stopped for good, and I can safely say this is the only time in my life I’ve been grateful for fastening my trousers with a bobble, resembling a sponge, puking every hour with breasts that felt like they had been attacked by a giant and weeing consistently!
The strange thing is, on the day that the bleeding stopped, I saw the below picture on my friend’s facebook account:
Now this may not seem so strange to you, but they call a baby after a miscarriage a “Rainbow Baby” and after reading the quote above, I remembered this and googled “Rainbow Baby” out of curiosity and this is what came up….
‘A beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and give hope of things getting better”
Jesus did I weep when I read that! All those questions of “Why” from when I had miscarried prior, suddenly all made sense.
Over the past few months, it is safe to say we have had a bloody storm and we were in need of a rainbow. It made me stop and believe that this was our Rainbow. It made me question:
“Did I have to lose that baby prior to help me to feel that a colourful and bright future is emerging from our recent darkness?” Maybe.
I am a firm believer in the Power of the Universe, and at that moment it dawned on me that everything just needs time to make sense, we just need to trust in our journey and know that everything will work out. This was confirmed to me even more so when we found out that the due date is on Alex’s birthday. (queue apocalypse now theme tune).
2017 taught me so many lessons and one lesson is, anything can happen. Good or Bad. BUT we are the ones that dictate what happens from the moment that something does happen. The beauty of life is everyone can choose how we react to a situation. Everyone has their own stuff going on, and if you are going through stuff right now, however hard it may be, believe it will get better, talk to someone, a “cup half full” kind of person, smile for the things that you can smile about and have faith that we are part of something bigger.
Welcome to 2018. Today is a day for the change, for self-belief. so believe in yourself and take over the world!!
Happy New Year
Love from
Jess, Alex, Girls and Bump!
by Olipophatbaby | Dec 11, 2017 | Motherhood
Take charge.
Children need limits, this help them to understand and manage an often confusing world. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, this is also showing your love. You are letting them explore in a safe and controlled way.
Don’t clip your child’s wings.
A childs mission in life is to gain independence. So when she’s developmentally capable of putting her toys away, clearing her plate from the table, and dressing, let them. Giving a child responsibility is good for her self-esteem (and your sanity!).
Don’t try to fix everything.
Give young kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you lovingly acknowledge a child’s minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save her, you teach her self-reliance and resilience.
Remember that discipline is not punishment.
Enforcing limits is really about teaching kids how to behave in the world and helping them to become competent, caring, and in control.
Pick your battles.
Kids can’t absorb too many rules without turning off completely. Forget arguing about little stuff like fashion choices and occasional potty language. Focus on the things that really matter — that means no hitting, rude talk, or lying.
Play with your children.
Let them choose the activity, and don’t worry about rules. Just go with the flow and have fun. That’s the name of the game.
Read books together every day.
Get started when he’s a newborn; babies love listening to the sound of their parents’ voices. Cuddling up with your child and a book is a great bonding experience that will set him up for a lifetime of reading.
Schedule daily special time.
Let your child choose an activity where you hang out together for 10 or 15 minutes with no interruptions. There’s no better way for you to show your love.
Encourage parent time.
The greatest untapped resource available for improving the lives of our children is time with both parents — early and often. Kids with engaged parents do better in school, problem-solve more successfully, and generally cope better with whatever life throws at them.
Make warm memories.
Your children will probably not remember anything that you say to them, but they will recall the family rituals — like bedtimes and game night — that you do together.
Be the role model your children deserve.
Kids learn by watching their parents. Modeling appropriate, respectful, good behavior works much better than telling them what to do.
Fess up when you blow it.
This is the best way to show your child how and when she should apologize.
Live a little greener.
Show your kids how easy it is to care for the environment. Waste less, recycle, reuse, and conserve each day. Spend an afternoon picking up trash around the neighborhood.
Always tell the truth.
It’s how you want your child to behave, right?
Kiss and hug your spouse in front of the kids.
Your marriage is the only example your child has of what an intimate relationship looks, feels, and sounds like. So it’s your job to set a great standard.
Respect parenting differences.
Support your spouse’s basic approach to raising kids — unless it’s way out of line. Criticizing or arguing with your partner will do more harm to your marriage and your child’s sense of security than if you accept standards that are different from your own.
Give appropriate praise.
Instead of simply saying, “You’re great,” try to be specific about what your child did to deserve the positive feedback. You might say, “Waiting until I was off the phone to ask for cookies was hard, and I really liked your patience.”
Cheer the good stuff.
When you notice your child doing something helpful or nice, let him know how you feel. It’s a great way to reinforce good behavior so he’s more likely to keep doing it.
Gossip about your kids.
Fact: What we overhear is far more potent than what we are told directly. Make praise more effective by letting your child “catch” you whispering a compliment about him to Grandma, Dad, or even his teddy.
Give yourself a break.
Hitting the drive-through when you’re too tired to cook doesn’t make you a bad parent.
Trust your gut.
No one knows your child better than you. Follow your instincts when it comes to his health and well-being. If you think something’s wrong, chances are you’re right.
Just say “No.”
Resist the urge to take on extra obligations at the office or become the Volunteer Queen at your child’s school. You will never, ever regret spending more time with your children.
Don’t accept disrespect from your child.
Never allow her to be rude or say hurtful things to you or anyone else. If she does, tell her firmly that you will not tolerate any form of disrespect.
Pass along your plan.
Mobilize the other caregivers in your child’s life — your spouse, grandparents, daycare worker, babysitter — to help reinforce the values and the behavior you want to instill. This includes everything from saying thank you and being kind to not whining.
Ask your children three “you” questions every day.
The art of conversation is an important social skill, but parents often neglect to teach it. Get a kid going with questions like, “Did you have fun at school?”; “What did you do at the party you went to?”; or “Where do you want to go tomorrow afternoon?”
Teach kids this bravery trick.
Tell them to always notice the colour of a person’s eyes. Making eye contact will help a hesitant child appear more confident and will help any kid to be more assertive and less likely to be picked on.
Acknowledge your kid’s strong emotions.
When your child’s meltdown is over, ask him, “How did that feel?” and “What do you think would make it better?” Then listen to him. He’ll recover from a tantrum more easily if you let him talk it out.
Show your child how to become a responsible citizen.
Find ways to help others all year. Kids gain a sense of self-worth by volunteering in the community.
Don’t raise a spoiled kid.
Keep this thought in mind: Every child is a treasure, but no child is the center of the universe. Teach him accordingly.
Talk about what it means to be a good person.
Start early: When you read bedtime stories, for example, ask your toddler whether characters are being mean or nice and explore why.
Explain to your kids why values are important.
The simple answer: When you’re kind, generous, honest, and respectful, you make the people around you feel good. More importantly, you feel good about yourself.
Set up a “gratitude circle” every night at dinner.
Go around the table and take turns talking about the various people who were generous and kind to each of you that day. It may sound corny, but it makes everyone feel good.
Serve a food again and again.
If your child rejects a new dish, don’t give up hope. You may have to offer it another six, eight, or even 10 times before he eats it and decides he likes it.
Avoid food fights.
A healthy child instinctively knows how much to eat. If he refuses to finish whatever food is on his plate, just let it go. He won’t starve.
Eat at least one meal as a family each day.
Sitting down at the table together is a relaxed way for everyone to connect — a time to share happy news, talk about the day, or tell a silly joke. It also helps your kids develop healthy eating habits.
Let your kids place an order.
Once a week, allow your children to choose what’s for dinner and cook it for them.
Love your children equally, but treat them uniquely.
They’re individuals.
Say “I love you” whenever you feel it, even if it’s 743 times a day.
You simply can not spoil a child with too many mushy words of affection and too many smooches. Not possible.
Keep in mind what grandmoms always say.
Children are not yours, they are only lent to you for a time. In those fleeting years, do your best to help them grow up to be good people.
Savor the moments.
Yes, parenthood is the most exhausting job on the planet. Yes, your house is a mess, the laundry’s piled up, and the dog needs to be walked. But your kid just laughed. Enjoy it now — it will be over far too fast.
