Am I the only pregnant women that seem to feel that looking incredible naked is the new pregnancy trend? I’m starting to feel it’s all the rage to ‘embrace your body and post in a sexy negligee’ because you should ‘still feel sexy’ and ‘confident’ because ‘pregnancy is beautiful’.
There are endless streams of ‘Hot Mammas’ plastered on my social media feed, pregnant women in lingerie looking sexy and embracing their bumps and all the lumps that come with it. Whereas when I am looking in the mirror naked, all I am seeing is a reflection of myself that resembles some form of human chicken.
(By the way, I am slightly mortified that I agreed to do the above, this was me doing the classic “love heart hands on baby” pose…..looks good yeah? COUGH)
Now don’t get me wrong, I think pregnancy is one god damn beautiful thing, I feel so gratefull that I am pregnant, especially after a misscarriage and I say my thank you’s every single day that i have a healthy baby inside of me. I love the feeling of actually growing a baby, keeping it safe and experiencing a life forming inside of me….But I am also 33 weeks pregnant, so I’m calling bulls#*t on anyone who thinks becoming a walking talking human incubator should make you feel sexy! My poor Alex gets secretly freaked out that he is poking the baby, sometimes I get secretly freaked out he is poking the baby.
Here’s the truth, pregnancy with your first child, is new, can be exciting, and you can make you feel sexy.
However, pregnancy in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time round is not hot. If you disagree feel free to imagine me laid like some kind of upturned turtle, with 10 day old hair, out of breath from trying to reach the Amazon Firestick whilst trying to type around the ever-growing collection of biscuit crumbs on my laptop. Beat that Demi.
Now please don’t think I hate being pregnant because I don’t, I mean I get to grow a little combination of Alex and me, in me! And god I feel so lucky to be able to do something as incredible as this, but the only ‘glow’ I’m getting is the headlights from the DHL delivery guy stocking me up on my nursing bras, breast pads, nappies and baby grows, that I’m now on first name terms with. Shout out to Steve if you’re reading this!
I am all for self-love, embracing your body and everything that comes along with it, but all I am seeing in magazines is this constant fixation that pregnant women should look/feel sexy?! I think I have seen 80% of celebrities naked, with a spray tan, a full face of make-up on, fabulous hair and airbrushed skin…THIS IS NOT THE EFFING REALITY OF PREGNANCY.
The focus is wrong, the emphasis on sexualising the pregnancy body is weird to me. Jesus, I used to enjoy sending races pictures to Alex, now, I cant get half an angle, never mind a good angle!
I don’t like how I feel, or how my body looks. I feel huge, my boobs are sore and jiggly, my ovaries feel like they are stretching and my high waisted jeans are high flying. This time last year I was a size 8 with a six pack, and now … well I’m like some kind of permanently uncomfortable seal.
I also feel that I have lost my identity whilst being pregnant, but that is a whole new conversation. I lack energy, I lack patience, and I seem to lack any form of good mood – all of which I didn’t lack only a mere 33 weeks ago.
I want to take away this pressure, sure, you may be absolutely loving pregnancy, but there are a hell of a lot of women who are not. I know that I cannot be the only one, and guess what….THAT IS A-O-KAY!
Let’s look at the facts, I am exhausted, all the time, and not in some cute kind of ‘oh I’ve only been to the gym 9 times this week, made a home cooked meal every night, packed healthy smoothies for all the kids and now I’m a bit too tired to solve world peace today’ kind of way.
I’m talking I walked upstairs to take a shower and had to sit down halfway for a time out while I got my breath back kind of exhausted. Oh and I ache, oh my god I ache, you know I don’t think I’d mind as much if i’d actually done something more than sleep, walk and talk! I want to make this clear, pregnancy does not have to make you feel beautiful or confident and you do not have to enjoy it, everyones journey is different.
For me, the magic of pregnancy is about the moments when you feel that little bundle of life move inside you? Isn’t that the beautiful bit? I mean yeah it does kinda look like there’s an alien squirming around in there, but honestly watching my girls and Alex get excited about the new baby gives me a feeling that just doesn’t compare. The beauty in pregnancy for me is all about the first times. The first flutter, the first time you hear a heart beat, the first time you see the baby at the scan not the first time i get a decent picture of me naked.
Yes, there’s days when the sun is shining and your heartburn subsides (for a few hours) and everything is all rainbows, puppies, adorable baby outfits and you kind of feel like you’ve got your shit together, but the next day you wake up to this insane back ache, accompanied by the fact you can no longer see your toes, shave your bikini line (God help the midwife), the kids need dressing, feeding, taking on the school run and the reality settles in.
I don’t want the added pressured to feel I have to look good, or embrace the way my bloody body looks or feel pressured to feel a certain way about pregnancy. I want to look exactly how I feel on that day, which is usually some combination of a ‘Ratty dragon” and ‘my hair hasn’t seen a hairbrush in days’. But this is bloody normal!
We are incredible women just growing a human, that is enough in itself. We don’t have to look hot off the catwalk, we don’t have to love pregnancy, it doesn’t mean we love our baby any less, or we are any less of a mother. It just means we look REAL and are HUMAN!
Lots of love
Jess
