by Olipophatbaby | Oct 11, 2017 | £20 Sundays #MOMknows
Parenting is bloody expensive when you have one child, let alone three! I remember the days where I thought nothing of spending £3 on a Barbie electric toothbrush from B&M’s, when I only had one child. NOW, I dread the moment when all three need a new toothbrush! Actually saying that I dread all seasonal spends. The ‘back to school’ spend, the ‘winter coat’ spend, the ‘summer wardrobe’ spend, even the ‘weekly food shop spend’… #NoEndToTheSpend
One thing I never dread however is the weekend spend, I always ensure we do something as a family that is fun, age appropriate and doesn’t cost a fortune. The reason being I remember on more than several occasions where I’d spend a small fortune, the kids would cry…ALL DAY! I’d get the “she cant cope” look from a number of civilised members of the public, (You’re right, I cant f@!king cope when I have three kids under six having an atomic meltdown in public) and I’d be strutting my stuff with one child in a ‘fireman’s’ lift, another child under my other arm, and working the dead leg drag (dragging a small child attached to my leg along the floor). Those were the days that I’d rather it literally cost me an arm and an actual leg.
Being frustrated by this, I made a decision that I would enforce a new tradition in the #MOMhouse – £20 Sundays. And only spend money on experiences and days out that the kids would appreciate and understand the value of (I am big on children understanding the value of money, purely so I don’t get fleeced when they’re in their teens asking for designer gear).
What is the £20 Sunday?
Anything we do as a family on a Sunday has to;
- Total £20 or less for the whole day
- Be extremely fun
- Allow quality time with the maniacs
Last Sunday cost me a total of £13.84 and it was the best damn £13.84 I ever spent. We, as a family, enjoyed a stress-free and fun filled day from start to finish.
Ok, I told a small porky there, it was a little stressful, We started the Sunday off deciding that we would bake a cake to eat after dinner with a pot of tea. (Tea always tastes better in a teapot and always looks good when you’re sharing photo’s on Facebook I find – like you’re going that ‘extra’ mile).
Oh and to make things really interesting, if three kids, flour, and eggs weren’t enough, we invited my two nephews to join in the tea party. Five children later, it had to be a Victoria sponge cake that was made, two cakes and enough jobs in producing this masterpiece to keep all five kids entertained.
It started off well, the kids split into two groups with MM (Mini Maniac) being the floater amongst the two. Well, I was impressed myself with how well I was performing, orchestrating these groups. One was pouring flour into a cup, passing it on to be poured into the bowl, the same with the sugar, eggs were getting cracked WITH NO ARGUMENTS. It was going swimmingly.
However, things slowly started to go downhill after the mixture was made. Was the mixture the calm before the storm? Hell yes. There were only two bowls and five kids that wanted to lick the mixture from it.
A cry of “I want to lick the bowl” from Hatti, “No, you lick the spoon” a response from Seb. “It’s my tuuuuuurn” Olive piped up.
“It’s not fair, I’m licking the bowl” I cried after ‘accidentally’ dipping my finger into the mixture ten minutes prior and tasting a sugary delight.
And then something unexpected happened, it would appear we added too much milk to the mixture….
However, although a doomful cake seemed inevitable at this point with half the mixture on the oven floor, the cake, the kids, and my cake mixture skills turned out quite alright. …
I thought this deserved a pat on the back, so patting myself and the kids (more myself) on the back, we then got ready for the second half the day – A trek, up to a hill! My suggestion of course as I planned to devour that cake with my pot of tea later, and you know what they say…. #Momentonthelipslifetimeonthehips.
Just before we left, I popped an Aldi special chicken (with stuffing) into the oven, so it would be ready for when we got back, knowing full well I would have HANGRY kids. Again, I took this opportunity to pat myself on the back. Which resulted in happy kids AND being organized – two things that rarely happen.
And we were off, on our way…
I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to get some picture for the Mother Of Maniacs blog. So this is me telling Alex to take a picture of me, taking a picture, but to also make sure it looks like I don’t know he is taking the picture. #SKILLS
and this is the picture I took whilst Alex was taking a picture of me… #Impressedmyselfwiththatone
The kids love walking, but now and again we still need to use a little bit of imagination, as children seem to get bored of walking within 3 minutes of the journey. When this happens, and if we are on a new walk, I usually use two lines:” There is a sweet shop at the top of that hill”, followed by “Eh, oooh, I don’t understand that it must have moved location”, when we get to the top of the hill. Try it, ity works every time.
But…… on rare occasions, there has been a sweet shop at the top of the hill and I have had no form of cash…The walk back from that mistake is painful. Really painful.
On this occasion though, the kids have been on this walk before, and they love the first half of the walk, running eagerly, jumping and climbing.
The second half of the walk, the walk back. Not so much. Embracing our inner superheroes and seeing ‘how fast we can back to the car’ (AKA: getting them to move in a forward direction). Initially, I thought “what a great idea”, cracked it again, another pat on the back. In reality, Olive took this role way too seriously. Every 5 minutes, she would stop, stand, pose and shout “Supergirl” and then wait..and wait…and wait. Then run off and repeat again. This happened 19 times.
Eventually, getting back to the car, absolutely starving and with cake in my mind we made our way home. Arriving home, we did a team effort – I forced the team to make an effort and to set the table whilst I prepared dinner. Hot chicken and stuffing sandwiches, on crusty bread, with gravy. Absolute treat.
And that was our Sunday. £13.84 well-spent pennys! Days with the kids can be as expensive, or inexpensive as you like. My kids, love being kids, and the beauty of children, they don’t know the difference in pricey days out or free walks. As long as they are having fun.
All ingredients were from Aldi, and for the method – google it “How to make a victoria sponge cake”.
The Cake
Self-raising flour £0.85
Eggs £1.19
Butter £ 1.39
Cream £0.75
Sugar £0.99
White chocolate (in the cream) £1
Milk (I already had this in, so that doesn’t count)
Hot Chicken Sandwiches
Sage and Stuffing chicken £3.99
Crusty bread £0.79
Gravy £0.89
Happy children, happy Alex, and happy mum
FREEEEEEEEEEE!!
A Sunday well spent, brings a week of content.
Lots of #MOMlove
Jess
by Olipophatbaby | Oct 4, 2017 | Motherhood
The kids and I always enjoy a ritual weekend walk and when I say “enjoy”, I actually mean forced too, as it’s one of the few things in life which is free. However on this weekends walk, I saw my youngest maniac in a whole new light!
I’m sure you, like me, have had one of those ‘comedy value’ days begging the question; “Are light coloured clothes a valid option for a child under 18?”. I asked myself this question the other day, whilst dressing my three-year-old mini maniac in the tones and hews of duck egg blue. Her hair may have resembled that of Edward scissor hands, but her outfit choice was on point.
4 adults and 8 children later we set off for our #MOMwalk, pulling up at our destination, the weather was glorious (a bit like my daughter’s outfit) the sun was shining, but wait, in the near distance there were muddy puddles EVERYWHERE. All of a sudden my heart started to pounce, recalling that yes, my three-year-old daughter had been introduced to Peppa Pig some 12 months earlier (purely for my own selfish need, 18 minutes of peace).
Sweat beading down my face with the concern that duck egg blue would soon become a distant memory, I started to gather the group for a photo to buy me some time on my move.
However minutes after the photo was taken, Hatti was off heading down the path to destruction. More Puddles! Before I had the chance to run after her, I heard my eldest Maniac Poppy calling “Mummy, Mummy look at me”, I turn around and I can not see this child for the life of me, again I hear “Mummmmmmmyyyyy” ! Where is this little voice coming from? baffled and now starting to get frantic, questioning myself “WHERE THE F*!K IS MY BLOODY CHILD”, I then look up to see the skinniest tree in the history of all trees and my 6-year-old balancing on one of the most fragile twigs, in the history of all twigs. The panic started to set in looking at my big brave girl who’d managed to climb this tall frail tree, more sweat beading down my face, wondering what to do…..So I did the only thing I knew how, I took out my phone and took a picture.
Trying to coax Poppy down from the tree with some form of leftover food from my bag and looking a bit similar to Edward Scissor hands myself now, I saw a couple appear next to me.
” I think it’s absolutely wonderful that you allow your children to be free-spirited and just enjoy playing outside and being children,” said the woman. “Yea, Yea its great” I replied, one eye on my child and the skinny twigs, the other eye on the couple trying to be social.
“Honestly, We really admire that you are letting your children really enjoy the outside and not worry about what they look like, too many parents worry about what their children look like these days,” said the gentlemen.
At this point I’m thinking, give the girl a break, she is six, I personally wouldn’t have put those purple wellies on with that jumper, but to say she is six and dressed, I think she did a bloody good job.
“Haha, thanks” I replied again trying to be polite. Turning my attention back to Poppy and at this point looking for pound coins to bribe her down the tree, I hear the couple start to speak again…
” I mean, just look at her, isn’t she adorable jumping up and down”…
Eh, Poppy isn’t jumping up and down… I stopped. I turned. Noooooo.
It got worse…
Then it got much worse….Apart from it being absolutely bloody freezing, Hatti now soaking wet through and being completely unorganized. This had to be the day I forgot to pack the spare clothes. Actually, Who am I kidding I never pack spare clothes. Hatti starts to strip off down to her bare bottom…
One child up a tree, the other one stripping off, I agree with the couple at how ‘great’ free-spirited children are, When really I’m thinking, this is not the day for no spare clothes and free-spirited children. Grabbing Poppy from the tree, which I’ve now climbed up and waving ta’ra to the couple, we run over to Hatti, who now has no leggings on, yet managed to put her wellies back on and looking an absolute sight. I exhaust all clothing options, call in the help of the #MOMSquad and collectively we decide that the best option is to use her jacket as ski pants, her 11 year old cousins jumper as a dress, my socks for shoes and to keep her in the pram.
(Yes – her legs are in the arms of the brown jacket.)
Continuing to walk along the path pushing the pram, I couldn’t help but think about what the couple I met earlier were saying. I thought about Hatti’s clothes and I thought about how much fun she was having jumping up and down in the muddy puddles.
Was it such a big deal that she had got wet and muddy? Was it such a big deal that she looked that Edward Scissor hands gone wrong right now? Stopping the pram and looking at Hatti, the smile had vanished from her face. This is not what parenting is about, this experience was a reminder that parenting is about letting your children run wild (When they can) and just letting them be children. If your children are smiling and happy, they’re safe and not harming anyone. Does it matter what they look like or what fun they are having?
With this epiphany, I knelt down, unclipped the pram and said out loud “Run free my child”.
And so she did. 
And ever since that walk, I learned to always pack a spare set of clothes….again, who am I kidding, I still don’t pack a spare set of clothes. But I do embrace muddy puddles, free spirit, and happy children.
A lot of the pressures we put on ourselves as parents, are that of other peoples pressures and ‘keeping up with appearances’. Yes, my children maybe have maniac tendencies from time to time, but they are good children, kind children, healthy children (touch wood) and happy children. And to say they are happy after what they have gone through already in their tiny lives is something I am proud of. So I say, let them be happy.
Thank you for reading #MOMsquad
Jess xx
by Olipophatbaby | Sep 30, 2017 | Fashion & Beauty, Lifestyle, Love, Motherhood, Working It.
Winner, great! You’ve found my blog! I now hope you can both find relative and enjoyable content, enticing you to…..
A) Become an avid and loyal fan, sharing its marvellous content across all of your wonderful social media platforms
Alternatively, it you’re reading this and thinking it’s utter crap, you can of course
B) Ignore it and me
(But come on peeps, why would you really want to do that )
Perhaps like me, sometimes you feel certain circumstances, relationships and children have made you forget who you are. You look at yourself in the mirror, at those all too familiar bags under your eyes and wonder where you’ve vacated too? Or find yourself asking: “would I of found it acceptable five years ago to walk out of the house with children’s snot smeared down one leg?” Hmmm, to beg the question.
Or maybe you feel like a jack of all trades but a master of none. One minute you master the art of getting the kids ready for school, creating Mary Berry style pack lunches, Cracking the homework tasks before 5pm, yet the next day, the time to get dressed in the morning before school/work vanishes before your eyes, (Thankfully your pajamas resemble bad leggings and an over washed t-shirt), you’re late rocking up to school with unbrushed teeth and forget any form of cash for the bun sale that has been mentioned every day that week. Yes, that sounds like a familiar occurrence.
I have been a working mother for as long as I have had children, and I have found it really bloody hard trying to juggle all elements of life. From quality time with the kids, cooking good food, finding love, searching for the time that doesn’t exist to fake tan or wash my hair, all whilst trying not to resemble a headless chicken and feeling the judgment of others.
I am on a mission to find and share stories, hacks, and tips from other mums, dads, carers and bring them to you daily. We are human, we wing it sometimes, excel occasionally, adapt when need to and always self-criticize. If you, like me, question and over analyse anything and everything and find comfort/dismay from google, then I feel we will get along.
Who am I?
I could start with: I was an Arab man with a Camel in a past life (according to a recent past life regression I participated in).
However, wanting to start with my best foot first, you may or may not know me from The Apprentice 2016 and/or Celebrity Big Brother 2017. Having experienced the highs and lows of mild ‘z’ list fame I have had an awakening following a year of the good, the bad and the ugly.
Aged a mere 30, I am a mother to three delightful maniacs (the three queens) , Co-own a fashion brand; prodigalfox.com, work hard, juggle life, believe in the magic of the Universe, practice ‘The Secret”, question everything, over analyse anything, coffee snob, art lover and an avid peak district walker.
A couple of months ago something tragic happened, my ex-partner and the father of my children took his own life, making me reflect on life, what I wanted and the realisation dawned that I had somewhat lost sight of who I was and who I wanted to be. I knew within seconds of this tragedy, that I wanted to spend my time being the best mum that I could, having fun with my children, work around quality time with them and just live and love life.
It made me realize that “reality stardom” is not for me, it has been fun and I met some interesting characters on the way, however, the lifestyle that comes with reality television isn’t the lifestyle I crave. Attending pointless events, travelling from Sheffield to London 2-3 times a week, getting back at 1am so I could do the morning school run, working on a train, not having quality time with friends or family and feeling even MORE exhausted (which I didn’t think was possible after having three children, FYI – it is possible) than I already did. My eyes were instantly opened at the realization that life is precious and we only have one chance at it.#Deep.
Although Success, fame (in the mildest form) and fortune may be great to experience; those things are not what life is about. Life is about happiness, health, inspiration, learning, laughter, and love. This understanding of life inspired me to start the Mother Of Maniacs #MOM blog. (which above anything else should be interesting, as I am a dyslexic trying to write a blog).
I am by no means an expert in any of the above, but I have learned some pretty epic life hacks, therefore, decreasing the headless chicken look by around 40% whilst at the same time upping my fashion game. Winning
#MOM is just me, sharing my views on the daily struggles of life, wanting to sprinkle inspiration to all with my words and letting you know. YOU ARE AMAZING. Whilst also saving money, looking good and oh yea, being a sh*t hot parent.
Enjoy and read on.
Jess x
by Olipophatbaby | Sep 4, 2017 | Lifestyle, Motherhood
My darling daughters, how will I ever know if I am going to be enough for you to get through the tragedy that instantly changed you and made you grow up way too soon. All I can promise you is that I will be here for every tear, every moment of sadness and for every moment of joy.
The morning I heard the news of your father’s death changed our lives forever. You were all still sleeping silently and innocently in bed without a care in the world. Too little to understand the true extent of what had happened, and too young to deserve this unfairness of life.
One by one as I heard your tiny footsteps come down the stairs, my heart sank deeper into the pit of my stomach knowing I would have to tell you that daddy would not be picking you up this morning.
Even writing this letter and re-living those moments, I see you clearly and remember how much smaller you seemed. I wanted you to remember that day a little less painful, so we went on a walk and we talked about life and death. About heaven, about the clouds, about our souls and what we believe happens when we die.
My beautiful children, you told me that when we die, we go to heaven, we sit on a cloud and we wave to the people we love. Then I told you, that your daddy had died.
The pain in your eyes, the noise of your cry and the feeling of helplessness when I held you tight made me more determined to give you all that I have and be all that you need.
The choices I had to make were difficult and hard, but the love and support from our family and friends helped you to see the light that was there. You had to say goodbye to your father, I knew this was something that you would never regret, that would give you the chance to say goodbye and in your own way. A goodbye that came too early and should not have been spoken at 6, 4 and 3.
I wish I could take your pain away, that I, not you, could feel the pain in your heart, that I could be in your shoes, and you in mine. Then the world wouldn’t seem so unfair. You would understand that sometimes things that should never have happened, can not be undone. You would understand that with time there comes peace, with love there comes joy and with death there comes life.
Life is so precious and it is here to be lived, life is about happiness and the things that are free. Whatever your troubles, I am here and I hear you. I want to guide you through the darkness and into the light, I want to hold your little hands until they outgrow mine and I want my love to ease your pain.
When the time is right, you will understand what happened and that he took his own life. You will know that it was not your fault, that you, nor I, could change what happened. That sometimes its just too late to save those that don’t know they need help. That the path to destruction is often unseen, and a person can walk with many, but feel so alone, so they search for a high that life can not give.
My promise to you is to surround you with love, to treasure your souls, and to guide you with courage.The void may never be filled from the loss of your father, but I will help you to make the right choices, I will be the best teacher I can, and you will lead happy and normal lives.
I promise you that.
My beautiful girls, you grew up way too soon.
My love always
Mummy
