Wow, I was massively overwhelmed with all the private messages that I received yesterday about health anxiety, I read some truly heartbreaking messages, some really relateable messages and messages from people who were in deep despair.
It took me 4 hours to get back to you all, there was well over a 100 messages, and I know that some people won’t of messaged but will of felt all the things I wrote in my blog yesterday.
So before I start, I just want to point out that I am by no means an expert in this, but I have done various courses over the past 8 years to do with energy healing, life coaching, EFT, well being and self -development. That, however, was for my own self-development and not as a career choice.
What I am sharing with you has helped me massively to get out of many bad mental states – as in, when you think one small minor thing, then the next minute, you’re Googling the S-H-I-T out of everything, whilst sat in a dark room and ignoring phones calls, and the world.
So first things first, the anxiety I have found (in layman terms) is more than often caused by questioning the unknown and triggered by something. Everyone in their lifetime will feel how you have felt at some point. It is a normal part of growing and developing, some people, however, are just better at ‘pulling themselves round” and some people just don’t know how to! Whatever you feel is fine, and know that you can feel better.
Again, I am not expert, these are just techniques that i have learnt and practiced over the years that work for me, You might try them and be like “That Jess is so full of sh!t”… But hopefully, some or all will work for you.
Whenever I feel shitty, I am always cautious about the words that I use and that leaves my mouth. I make a conscious effort to ensure that every single word that I speak has a positive tone to it. If I am having a conversation with someone and they are telling me ‘how crap’ everything is (mate, I’m feeling shIt, i don’t need to hear this) I find a positive to their negative and give them a solution to their problem.
Sometimes, though you will find people who will come up with problems to their own solutions. WALK AWAY GIRLFRIEND, WALK AWAY!
Again, if you try and not let any negativity leave your mouth, you will feel better. Words create our feelings, and our feelings create our reality.
Affirmations and Incantations
Affirmations are positive one-liners about you. This is a good link from Louise Hay
who explains perfectly, but in short, affirmations are simply you saying to yourself the opposite of how you feel. This is so powerful, and really works, but you have to give it time, practice and doing consistently. For example, if you feel “Unlovable” find something you love about your self and tell yourself.
I am a bloody good person
I deserve happiness
I am lovable
I am healthy, happy and content.
At first, you may feel like you are lying to yourself, but if you do this consistently, daily and only for a few minutes, you will feel better. YOU HAVE TO STICK TO IT!!
Incantations, are similar, but you say your affirmations with power – this is a great video from (my hero) Tony Robbins on how to practice (perform) them.
CHANGE YOUR BLOODY POSTURE!!!!!!!!
This, is one of the quickest ways, I find, to change how I feel, when I feel shit, my body language usually represents that!
So, i stand up straight, literally shake my self off, from my legs, my arms, my body and then I start walking with an actual spring in my step (not in public), (unless I have too).
Try it right now, change your body language.
Dance movement and silly voices
Id like to think that I made this one up myself, as again, this is the quickest way, for me to change how I feel. I try to do this daily and in the mornings (If I remember).
- turn on some ‘happy” music (Apple has a playlist called ‘feeling happy’)
- Start dancing like one of my children…or Napoleon Dynamite – and literally use all my body as if I am throwing all that negative energy out there.
- Say my affirmations in a really silly, cartoon, or sometimes American voice.
I listen to a podcast by a guy called Thomas Miller and there is one episode i love . – Podcast 141 “I can have what i want”
Gratitude is life changing. First thing in the morning and last thing at night (just before i meditate), I always say thank you, and feel full of gratitude for everything in my life. It doesn’t matter if things aren’t where i want them to be, I always say thank you.
If i dont feel well, I say thank you for my health and visualise myself laughing. I say thank you for my children’s health. We always say ‘grace’ at the table – The kids take it in turns each night to say what they are thankful for, Il be honest, Hatti the three year old usually copies the other two, and im not sure she knows what we are doing. I always say tahnk you for the roof over my head, the car i drive, the money i have, my relationship, the day….everything and anything. The thing with gratititude is, when you feel full of gratitude, you can not feel worried, scared, frantic, you just cant, because you feel so lucky for what you have in your life.
Meditation and Visualisation
If i remember and not absolutely shattered, before i go to sleep i put on a youtube guided meditation and visualise myself happy, healthy, wealthy and full of joy!
Then through oput the day, I let me self get caught up in daydreams, because day dreams help me to see what i am aiming for and . make it easuer to find a plan of action to get there. Once i have a plan of action, I always feel less anxious. I do this with work, health, ideas…everything.
EFT – Tapping
EFT stands for emotional freedom techniques. You tap on the meridian energy points, don’t worry, you cant really get this wrong, you tap and what ever you feel anxious about , you speak of.
If you feel nervous about your health and feel sick with anxiety – whilst tapping, you may say:
“I hate this feeling of feeling sick to my stomach, thinking that im seriously ill, thinking I am not well”
“I really wish this nervous, worried feeling would go, as i hate how negative it makes me feel”
EFT is actually briulliant, the first time you doi it, you will be like “What the fuck was that”. Then the day after, you will feel like negative energy has been released. I have used this gentleman Bill Tucker, he is £60 a session over skype, but really easy to talk to and i found him brilliant. You can also find some really good examples on Youtube. If you siuffer really bad with anxiety, I would suggest a session, if not and you want to relieve some anxiety, Youtube is great.
Reiki is AMAZING! If you are open to the magic of the Universe and the spirit realms, then this is facinating. Everyone has similiar but different experiences. For me, when I have reiki or practice on myself, i turn in to a jazz singer, start doing upside down Thai chi, Move on the therapy bed, tap my body…. i do all sorts and I sometimes see my third eye (google that ) and I always release negative enrgy, either through crying or uncontrolably laughing.
I am a reiki practitioner, so i practice reiki everyday, on my self, on my children, i send distance healing to people who need it and i find that it calms me and centres me!
Eat and drink well
Food is the fuel that makes your body and brain work, if your supplying it with alcohol and junk food, how can you expect to be happy, If you eat well and drink well, you will feel well!
Don’t worry I am not talking about cutting it out all togther, i bloody love a G&T (well, before pregancy). But if i felt anxious or worried, i never let myself drink alcohol, until i felt mentally better. Instead, i focused on juicing, eating lots of greens, and not processed food. Kind of like a detox.
I really hope this helps, or some of the techniques work for you, and if you do still feel anxious or worried about health, life or what ever it is, speak to someone, a therapist. We wouldn’t try to rewire our house, we get an electrician in, our brains are so much miore complex that than, so if you feel you need help, then a therapist is the person that can help. There is no shame in feeling sad, worried, or anxious. Working on self development and a healthy mental state is the best work you can do.Please feel free to send me an Email Momboss@motherofmaniacs.co.uk and i will try my best to get back you!
Lots of Love