Winner, great! You’ve found my blog! I now hope you can both find relative and enjoyable content, enticing you to…..
A) Become an avid and loyal fan, sharing its marvellous content across all of your wonderful social media platforms
Alternatively, it you’re reading this and thinking it’s utter crap, you can of course
B) Ignore it and me
(But come on peeps, why would you really want to do that )
Perhaps like me, sometimes you feel certain circumstances, relationships and children have made you forget who you are. You look at yourself in the mirror, at those all too familiar bags under your eyes and wonder where you’ve vacated too? Or find yourself asking: “would I of found it acceptable five years ago to walk out of the house with children’s snot smeared down one leg?” Hmmm, to beg the question.
Or maybe you feel like a jack of all trades but a master of none. One minute you master the art of getting the kids ready for school, creating Mary Berry style pack lunches, Cracking the homework tasks before 5pm, yet the next day, the time to get dressed in the morning before school/work vanishes before your eyes, (Thankfully your pajamas resemble bad leggings and an over washed t-shirt), you’re late rocking up to school with unbrushed teeth and forget any form of cash for the bun sale that has been mentioned every day that week. Yes, that sounds like a familiar occurrence.
I have been a working mother for as long as I have had children, and I have found it really bloody hard trying to juggle all elements of life. From quality time with the kids, cooking good food, finding love, searching for the time that doesn’t exist to fake tan or wash my hair, all whilst trying not to resemble a headless chicken and feeling the judgment of others.
I am on a mission to find and share stories, hacks, and tips from other mums, dads, carers and bring them to you daily. We are human, we wing it sometimes, excel occasionally, adapt when need to and always self-criticize. If you, like me, question and over analyse anything and everything and find comfort/dismay from google, then I feel we will get along.
Who am I?
I could start with: I was an Arab man with a Camel in a past life (according to a recent past life regression I participated in).
However, wanting to start with my best foot first, you may or may not know me from The Apprentice 2016 and/or Celebrity Big Brother 2017. Having experienced the highs and lows of mild ‘z’ list fame I have had an awakening following a year of the good, the bad and the ugly.
Aged a mere 30, I am a mother to three delightful maniacs (the three queens) , Co-own a fashion brand; prodigalfox.com, work hard, juggle life, believe in the magic of the Universe, practice ‘The Secret”, question everything, over analyse anything, coffee snob, art lover and an avid peak district walker.
A couple of months ago something tragic happened, my ex-partner and the father of my children took his own life, making me reflect on life, what I wanted and the realisation dawned that I had somewhat lost sight of who I was and who I wanted to be. I knew within seconds of this tragedy, that I wanted to spend my time being the best mum that I could, having fun with my children, work around quality time with them and just live and love life.
It made me realize that “reality stardom” is not for me, it has been fun and I met some interesting characters on the way, however, the lifestyle that comes with reality television isn’t the lifestyle I crave. Attending pointless events, travelling from Sheffield to London 2-3 times a week, getting back at 1am so I could do the morning school run, working on a train, not having quality time with friends or family and feeling even MORE exhausted (which I didn’t think was possible after having three children, FYI – it is possible) than I already did. My eyes were instantly opened at the realization that life is precious and we only have one chance at it.#Deep.
Although Success, fame (in the mildest form) and fortune may be great to experience; those things are not what life is about. Life is about happiness, health, inspiration, learning, laughter, and love. This understanding of life inspired me to start the Mother Of Maniacs #MOM blog. (which above anything else should be interesting, as I am a dyslexic trying to write a blog).
I am by no means an expert in any of the above, but I have learned some pretty epic life hacks, therefore, decreasing the headless chicken look by around 40% whilst at the same time upping my fashion game. Winning
#MOM is just me, sharing my views on the daily struggles of life, wanting to sprinkle inspiration to all with my words and letting you know. YOU ARE AMAZING. Whilst also saving money, looking good and oh yea, being a sh*t hot parent.
Enjoy and read on.
My darling daughters, how will I ever know if I am going to be enough for you to get through the tragedy that instantly changed you and made you grow up way too soon. All I can promise you is that I will be here for every tear, every moment of sadness and for every moment of joy.
The morning I heard the news of your father’s death changed our lives forever. You were all still sleeping silently and innocently in bed without a care in the world. Too little to understand the true extent of what had happened, and too young to deserve this unfairness of life.
One by one as I heard your tiny footsteps come down the stairs, my heart sank deeper into the pit of my stomach knowing I would have to tell you that daddy would not be picking you up this morning.
Even writing this letter and re-living those moments, I see you clearly and remember how much smaller you seemed. I wanted you to remember that day a little less painful, so we went on a walk and we talked about life and death. About heaven, about the clouds, about our souls and what we believe happens when we die.
My beautiful children, you told me that when we die, we go to heaven, we sit on a cloud and we wave to the people we love. Then I told you, that your daddy had died.
The pain in your eyes, the noise of your cry and the feeling of helplessness when I held you tight made me more determined to give you all that I have and be all that you need.
The choices I had to make were difficult and hard, but the love and support from our family and friends helped you to see the light that was there. You had to say goodbye to your father, I knew this was something that you would never regret, that would give you the chance to say goodbye and in your own way. A goodbye that came too early and should not have been spoken at 6, 4 and 3.
I wish I could take your pain away, that I, not you, could feel the pain in your heart, that I could be in your shoes, and you in mine. Then the world wouldn’t seem so unfair. You would understand that sometimes things that should never have happened, can not be undone. You would understand that with time there comes peace, with love there comes joy and with death there comes life.
Life is so precious and it is here to be lived, life is about happiness and the things that are free. Whatever your troubles, I am here and I hear you. I want to guide you through the darkness and into the light, I want to hold your little hands until they outgrow mine and I want my love to ease your pain.
When the time is right, you will understand what happened and that he took his own life. You will know that it was not your fault, that you, nor I, could change what happened. That sometimes its just too late to save those that don’t know they need help. That the path to destruction is often unseen, and a person can walk with many, but feel so alone, so they search for a high that life can not give.
My promise to you is to surround you with love, to treasure your souls, and to guide you with courage.The void may never be filled from the loss of your father, but I will help you to make the right choices, I will be the best teacher I can, and you will lead happy and normal lives.
I promise you that.
My beautiful girls, you grew up way too soon.
My love always