A few of you may have seen my debate on GMB with Marina Fogle yesterday. So I thought i would follow it up with an obligatory blog post! I read an article in the daily mail that Marina Fogle had written saying that she is bringing her children up in a naked house, has told them about all the details of sex as well as what condoms are used for as well as her and Ben (her husband) all piling in the bath with her 6 year old daughter and 8 year old son (that must be a BIG bath). I was also under the impression from the article I had read that Marina and Ben are full-blown nudists. So when Marinas first statement on air was “Im not a full blown nudist, i don’t walk around the house naked or cook naked, but i don’t shriek either when my kids come in the shower or bathroom” – well neither do most people – me included, I simply teach them about their bodies belong to them and them only.
My three daughters are six, five and three years old and we have had baths together, I have got undressed in front of them, they have seen me naked, this was before each of them started to understand about boundaries. What I am conscious of is teaching the kids about their body, and how privates are privates and I lead from how my children are and their personalities.
My eldest Pops is six nearly seven and now she starts asking for privacy when she goes to the toilet, when she is putting on knickers and vest on and she also enjoys a bath alone. She thinks it is normal to have privacy when she is doing all these things – BECAUSE IT IS hence why we don’t take a shit in public or bath in public.
Olive who is five, is kind of halfway to be open and free and halfway to understanding boundaries to do with her body. Sometimes she will want to chat whilst she is having bath, sometimes she will close the door, sometimes she will get dressed in front of me, other times she will say “don’t come in, im in the nudie and my privates are out”.
Hatti, who is three, however, is an all-new ball game. She will be fully dressed ready for nursery one minute and then naked and free running around the house the next minute after going for a poo, tone minute before we have to leave for the school run.
My issue with being in a fully naked house and encouraging your child to be naked is that it is completely different to teaching your children body confidence. My children are body confident because I teach them about body confidence with how I speak about my body, how I take care of my body through food and exercise and how I speak and teach them about their bodies. I honestly believe it wouldn’t make a difference if i was naked 24/7 they would still be confident in their own skin.
They key thing for me is to teach your children the appropriate lesson for the appropriate ages that they are and for the individual characters they have. Not every child is the same, i know this through my own children.
The reason I choose to parent this way is for a couple of reasons – the first one and the main one being i know of a situation where a close friend of mine had friends who’s house was naked house, and the father groomed my friend and it started because it was normalised by my friends friend and her family walking around naked. Now, I also understand that of course, this is not an everyday situation and you cant stop play dates for fear of meeting a paedophile but my point is, situations like these do happen. They can’t be undone.
The second reason being, when i was 18 i worked abroad and lived in a house of girls and boys. A girl i lived with was brought up in a naked house, and because of this she would walk around naked as soon as she came home – regardless who was in. At the time, i thought “wow, how liberating” she is really confident about her body (she did have an incredible body) but as iv got older and had children, when i think back to that, it scares me to think it only takes the wrong person to be in that house to see her for something bad to happen. I know I wouldn’t want my girls to feel so comfortable walking around naked they would do it in front of anyone, because this is putting themselves in danger.
Because of those reasons I am choosing to teach boundaries to my children about their bodies and what is socially acceptable and what is not. Teaching children’s to be comfortable in their own skin is different to teaching them to be comfortable in being naked.
As a parent we all teach through instinct, through experience, through knowledge and we lead with our hearts as well as our heads. Me included.
I would love top know your thoughts on this.
I am a skincare fanatic. I love anything to do with pampering my skin and I am always up for trying new lotions and potions! So when I got the chance to receive and review Simply Argan I nearly bit their hand off for the chance as I had heard lots about the benefits of Argan oil –Which you can find here.
I told them what kind of skin I have, what I want to achieve with my skin and left the rest up to them….little did i know what I would receive…A ROLLER DEVICE WITH ABOUT 1000 5ML NEEDLES ON IT that I have to roll on my face!!!!!
Anyway, I thought I would feel the fear and do it anyway (you know how I like my self-help analogies) and also indulge in the other little freebies that I received!
The ‘Turn back time” gold spray hand sanitiser is ACTUALLY AMAZING and the three queens think its ‘magic money spray’, and every time i spray it on their hands I tell them that wealth and abundance is on its way- teaching them early about the powers of the universe!!!
Then we have the derma microneedle roller and the oil and moisturiser that goes with it! JESUSSSS! This one scared the bloody shit out of me!!!
- On a clean and dry face massage a pump (i like two pumps) of oil into the skin
- Put on a brave face and roller the sh!t out of your skin. This felt like torture to start with, especially around the smile and eye lines. HOWEVER….every day that I have used the roller (I use once every 2-3 days) someone has always commented on how fresh my skin looks!
- Massage a pump (or two) of the collagen facial moisturiser into the slightly reddened skin!
- Make a victory cup of tea, you did it!
- Compare selfie from weeks ago to now and voila! Your skin looks far more radiant than it once did!
On a serious note, I have actually been impressed by the oil, moisturiser and derma needle. I feel like I am doing my skin justice and it is safely holding off the botox for at least another 5 years! Which is always good!
Now if you watched me on The Apprentice, you may of notice how thick and full my hair was – this was because I only washed it once every 2-3 weeks and I didn’t really need to style it! Then after CBB, I started styling my hair more and not protecting it….around 7inches of my hair just broke off! WTF!!!
Soooooo now as you can imagine going from a brunette Rapunzel to a Pixie – I look after my hair. So thank God that the first time I used the Argan shampoo and conditioner it left my hair feeling like actual silk and smelt amazing, or there would not have been a fifth, sixth and tenth time!
I also use it on the girl’s hair, as they love the idea of pamper night, washing their hair with posh shampoo and conditioner (they take after me)!
Then we have the coffee scrub! If you have been pregnant, you will know that not only do you get fatter but you also get added extra of more cellulite. GREAT! If you don’t already know, a coffee scrub helps to eliminate the appearance of cellulite, stretch marks and other skin conditions.
To be fair, I was quite sceptical about this, but iv used it around 7 times and my bum is looking smoother! I wish I would have done before and after pictures now, however, I think the before may have cracked a few smartphone screens!
So what is the verdict?
I actually really enjoyed reviewing the products, although I think that this must of been their plan from the start as now I am a confirmed future purchaser (purely because I like getting told I look fresh and young (all down to the derma roller)). The products aren’t badly priced either, they’re not at affordable as supermarket brands, but I personally like little treats of luxury and for a luxury skincare brand, they are pretty affordable, also when the box arrives with the product in, you will feel like the queen of England!
Happy shopping <3
Ok, Ok, so it is fair to say that my Kim Kardashian Instagram post got a fair bit of traction. 70% of the comments were in agreeance, 5% were neutral, 5% were asking why Instagram was parenting my friends child (yes, even I wondered if these comments were serious and looking at corresponding profile pictures, cleary these people couldn’t understand the content of the post) and the other 20% were from die-hard Kardashian fans!
So, from reading the comments, I wanted to address a few of the points. The points being:
- “Why does a 13-year-old have a phone in the first place and what are they doing on Instagram?”
Now, I may be wrong, and this may be an assumption but I am assuming the people who have written the comments like this don’t have children and don’t know teenagers of this age. I get this assumption as a 13-year-old, would be in year 9, starting to choose their GCSE, going round to their friend’s house, starting to get a little bit more independent, and part of that independence is having a phone so your parents can get hold of you. All of my friends who have kids that are 13+ have phones, and so do the majority of their friends.
Now, imagine back to when you were 13…. well, all my friends were allowed to wear, make-up, whereas I had to sneak my lipgloss and mascara in the role of my skirt and put it on in the school toilets. This is also the age I started getting embarrassed talking to boys, started getting influenced by my friends (AS WELL AS my parents) and used to get really excited when I got a text message on my Nokia3210 and then disappointed that I couldn’t reply as I hadn’t bought my £10 top-up card!
A phone is the first start of independence for a teenager, and the 5 people you surround yourself with are the people that influence you the most. In childhood and also adult hood!
2.” Its up to you to parent your children, not Kim Kardashian or Instagram”.
Again, the people who write comments like this are just plain idiotic. Of course, it is a parents job to parent the child, but part of that parenting is giving your child independence, trust and faith that they have listened to your advice. However, a part of being a child/teenager and growing up is making mistakes, learning, problem-solving and thinking your parents do not know best.
There were also a few comments that said: “Kim didn’t ask to be a role model”….
Surely, part of being a being a celebrity, you realise that you are a role model and especially when you have 103,000,000 followers? When you are on TV there are always going to be people who look up to you, just like there are always going to be people who just plain don’t like you.
I understand this, and I only have 41,000 followers. But, I understand that I may or may not influence someone and I hope that if I do, it is positive.
3. “Kim looks fantastic, and I think its great that she is so body confident after 3 kids”
Yes, Kim does look great, But so would a lot of people of they had bum implants, breast surgery, liposuction, lip fillers, botox and other various cocktails of image altering surgery. Have people forgotten this is not normal to have so much surgery? Kyle Jenner, had lip fillers at 17 – is this not worrying? When people have cosmetic surgery it is generally due to low self-esteem to do with that part of the body. I am not against surgery if it can boost your self-esteem and it is a thought-out process and not one trying to be perfect, then bloody go for it! PERFECTION DOES NOT EXIST!!!!!
What I am against is the constant influnce of this being pushed on young women. Is it a coincidence that everyone os starting to look the samer? Or is it the influnec of social media and celebrity?
I also want to get this straight, I am not saying or suggesting that I am against lingerie shoots, or even fully naked photo shoots, what I am saying is: as an influencer to those that follow us, surely we have a responsibility that we are being the best role model that we can. The two images below have two very different meanings, tones and feeling. I know which one I prefer! What I am saying is learn your audicence.
Clemmie Telford is a mum blogger, and her following is of mums, parents and mainly women who have had children and been pregnant or are pregnant.
If you are parent, what are your thoughts on this? Are we championing the right role models? Is this picture ok?
Lots of love
The start of the New Year, I decided that 2018 is going to be the year of health, wealth, happiness and abundance and that 2017 would be the year that taught me strength, compassion and an understanding of life.
Now being a mother of three, pregnant, hormonal and 90% of the time ‘hangry” you can imagine my stress levels and how I remain positive.
So i thought, it would be a good January start to share with you, my readers a few secrets of life that have worked for me, and continue to work with me.
For those of you that know me from The Apprentice or Celebrity Big Brother, Im going to share with you how I actually managed to get on both programmes.
I manifested my way on to them.
I asked the higher power from within to get me on both shows, I visualised myself in the boardroom and in the final 5. I visualised myself be walking on to your TV screen like ‘mic drop, Jess is in de house” and believed the Law of attraction would work its magic to get me there.
Oh and my sister and I always had a feeling one of us would one day meet Jedward. #Moment
So, what is the Law of attraction (LOA) ? The LOA is where you ask the power of the divine Universe for what you want, then have to believe/feel you already have it, then let it go and have faith it will come true.
You have to see and feel as your future self….A star!
I knew without a doubt that I would be on the Apprentice, I just had a feeling. The Universe however, likes to test your faith.
I actually got on to The Apprentice in 2014, I was pregnant at the time and i thought “Wow, I am doing it for all the pregnant working mamas out there. The first pregnant woman EVER to be on the Apprentice.”
Turns out, they couldn’t get cast insurance and I got dropped. GUTTED.
Two years later I plucked up the courage to apply again, I logged onto my computer, typed into Google “APPLY FOR THE APPRENTICE” and thought YES! This is my moment (Martine McCuttcheon playing in the background, pressed enter…. WTF. I’VE MISSED THE BLOODY DEADLINE!!!
No, this was not the way my visualisation in a meditative state went. I did the only thing i knew how, cry, Just jokes, I kept the bloody faith didn’t I?
I thought, right, I aint no for an answer. I found out the production company who made the Apprentice, rang them up, told them the full shabang and they told me to send an email- A bloody email, I wanted an invite there and then to the auditions. However I sent an email and got three ‘No’s’ back.
‘Sorry, good luck for next year’
‘Really Sorry, nothing we can do. Apply next year’
‘LEAVE ME THE EFF ALONE AND TAKE THE HINT’
Ok, so I may of made the last one up, the point being I got three No’s. Not giving up…AND STILL keeping the faith, I managed to guess (I impressed myself here) the email address of one of the producers and voila! I managed to get myself through to the first i audition stage.
And the rest is TV history. Looking back actually, maybe it was more to do with the fact I broke down in tears in the audition process in front of two of the Exec producers who obviously saw “TV Gold”….Hmm one ‘jeans task later’!
Then we have CBB…
I just knew I would be on it, I had the same feeling as TheApprentice and as soon as I found out I would be on The Apprentice, I knew I would be in that house!
(Which was strange as Trishna and myself were the only two candidates that said we would never do CBB – hmmm how wrong I was whilst eating my humble pie).
Episode 3 of The Apprentice aired and I received an email from the Booker of CBB asking if I would like to meet her, I was reluctant at first, as I really did not fancy the idea of it. However, something was telling me to go for it, so I did and thank God! As it was a brilliant experience which has opened and continues to open many doors. BUT…it was’nt easy sailing, Jeeze Louise, talk about keeping the faith on this one.
My amazing agent Vickie then took charge from here, Vickie and I both had a feeling that I would be entering the house. Then the launch happened and I was no where to be seen walking down the red carpet.
It was a no, But maybe a yes for the summer.
However, I rang Vickie and my exact words were. “Vickie, Iv just got this feeling that Im going to be in that house”
to which Vickie Replied
8 days passed with no word of going in, but then i got a phone call saying they were thinking of putting me in as three men had been evicted. OUT OF THE FLIPPING BLUE. Again, Martine McCuttcheon started playing, Yes! I thought, the LOA did it again.
One phone call later, It was a No. WTF, NO? This is not part of my Universe LOA magical plan.
“I am destined to meet Jedward”.
Keeping the faith, and visualising chatting with Colleen, Dancing with Jedward and Nicola McClean plucking my eyes brows…I got yet ANOTHER phone call.
“They’re having a meeting of who to put it, Its looking good” Vickie told me. This was on the Wednesday.
24 (long) hours later, the phone rings…Its Vickie.
“Hi Vic, my bags packed, Iv kept my faith in the Universe, what time are they collecting me?”
“It’s a no”!
Whaaaaat, I couldn’t understand, i’d visualised it so well. I was destined to be in the diary room, surely?
“Do you think they might change their mind, I really feel like i’m going into that house”
“I felt like that too, but No, they never change their mind, Maybe the summer one”
RING RING, RING RING
“They want you in the house, They’ve changed their minds”
It was at that point that I really understood about positive thought, the magic of the Law Of Attraction and power of belief. The universe (And also the lovely Hannah, the CBB booker) and worked the magic.
I had 16 hours to get packed, sorted, and nip to build a bear with the kids to get them a bear that they could squeeze and hear my voice say:
“Whats been your favourite part of the day? Im missing you, but I’ll be home soon”
A year later, I’m now regretting it, as Hatti presses it at 5:45am every morning and the battery is near it’s death and resembles a slow version of Darth Vader with a northern accent!
To experience life is incredible. Life changing events can come out of the blue, and everything can change in a moment. I speak through experience, and not just the experience of the above, but my life has been a series of “out of the blue” events. The most of them positive, a couple tragic and all of them life altering.
What ever your situation is right now, If its crap, believe and visualise it changing. Have faith that circumstances can change in an instant. Welcome the change.
If your life is good, keep that feeling and keep visualising the direction in which you want your life to go, you deserve to be happy. We all do.
If you want to find out more about the LOA a few books to look at are:
- The Secret
- Think rich, Grow rich
- The Monk that sold his Ferrari
- Celestine prophecy
Lots of Love